• If you are in a situation that is escalating in its abuse, leave the situation for safety reasons.
• Identify safe areas of the house where there are no weapons and always ways to escape. If arguments occur, try to move to those safe areas.
• Do your best to keep your children safe by not running to them when conflict arises, as your partner may hurt them too.
• If violence is unavoidable, make yourself a small target. Dive into a corner and curl up into a ball with your face protected and your arms around either side of your head with your fingers entwined.
• If possible, have a phone accessible and know the numbers to call for help at all times. Know the location of the nearest payphone. Know your local battered women’s shelter phone number. Don’t be afraid to call the police.
• Let trusted friends and neighbors know of your situation and develop a plan and visual signal when you need help.
• Teach your children how to get help. Instruct them not to get involved in the violence between you and your partner.
• Plan a code word to signal that they should get help or leave the house.
• Tell your children that violence is never ok, even when someone they love is being violent. Tell them that neither you nor they are at fault or cause of the violence and that when anyone is being violent, it is essential to keep safe.
• Practice how to get out safely. Practice with your children.
• Plan for what you will do if your children tell your partner of your plan or if your partner finds out about your plan.
• Keep weapons like guns or knives locked up and as inaccessible as possible.
• Make a habit of backing the car into the driveway and keeping it fueled. Keep the driver’s door unlocked and the other doors locked for a quick escape.
• Try not to wear scarves or long jewelry that your abuser could use to strangle you.
• Create several plausible reasons for leaving the house at different times of the day or night.
• Call a domestic violence hotline periodically to assess your options and get a supportive, understanding ear.

• Contact your local family violence shelter and find out about laws and other resources available to you before your have to use them during  crisis.
• Keep a journal of all violent incidents, noting dates, events, and threats made.
• Acquire as many job skills as you can, such as learning to type or taking courses at a community college.
• Try to set money aside or ask friends or relatives to hold money for you.
• Store some belongings with a friend or relative. Leave clothing, medications, your Social Security card, a credit card (if possible), citizenship documents, children’s school/medical records, children’s toys, insurance information, copies of birth certificates, money, and other valued personal possessions with them.

• Take important items, including:
• Regularly needed medication
• List of credit cards (account number and date of expiration) held by self or jointly, or the credit cards themselves if you have access to them.
• Pay stubs
• Checkbooks and information about bank accounts and other assets.

If time is available, also take:

• Citizenship documents (i.e. passport, greencard, etc.)
• Titles, deeds, other property information, and tax return
• Medical records
• Children’s school records and immunization records
• Insurance information
• Copy of marriage license, birth certificates, will, and other legal documents
• Verification of Social Security numbers
• Welfare identification
• Valued pictures, jewelry, or personal possessions